Thursday, July 16, 2009

bug project journal #2

Time for a review of all things buggy around here, since it's been a month since the first update. I have to say at the onset that this study is looking quite a bit different than if it was a project I was planning for my students at school... let's just suffice it to say that I've been a bit lazy this summer (it's SUMMER!), and I haven't so much sought out or planned a whole lot for this study so much as we've just spent low-key time stumbling into really cool bug adventures. (It's very easy to hunt for bugs in our own yard. Even that I can do during summer.)

We have been fortunate to have some neat discoveries, and I'm trying not to beat myself up too much for all the lost opportunities for extending this learning, so instead I'm just going to focus on the bits of this that have been really positive. Like, for one, Red recently stated, "I'm not scared of spiders anymore! I'm not scared of bumblebees or any bugs!" One of the major goals in starting this particular project is accomplished right there! For another, Pudge is participating BIG time in this study. With our bird project, he would point at birds and tweet-tweet a bit, but with this one, he's finding his own bugs, excitedly pointing them out to me, and grabbing the mini-magnifying glass while shouting, "See it! See it!" He's older and he's being immersed in this process where we are hugely interested in exploring one particular idea. He spends a lot of time simply keeping me updated every time he sees another bug flying around. "Bug! Bug! There he is!"

On to the list. This picks up where the first post left off, about mid-June:

*Field trip time to the "Wings of Fancy" exhibit at Wheaton's Brookside Garden Conservatory. Man, do I ever LOVE this place. You walk around an enclosed greenhouse filled with tons of butterflies, so of course, they land on your head and other assorted places and kids just squeal with delight at the sheer number and amazing accessibility of the butterflies.

Red checks out a Great Eggfly butterfly on JAM's arm.


We ponder the case of chrysalises-- AMAZING, while JAM consults our guidebook.


Pudge is beside himself with delight! More! More!


Red and JAM look at the specimens available with handy-dandy magnifiers.


*On our walk through the gardens heading to the butterfly exhibit, lovely hubby had spotted a really unique looking caterpillar on the walking path, thankfully before our stroller wheels found it! We took it with us to the conservatory (also hubby's grand idea!), and he hitched a ride in the stroller drink tray. The woman there said he looked like a Spicebush Swallowtail caterpillar, and they just happened to have a spicebush right there in their outdoor butterfly garden. So, he got a new home away from rolling strollers and walking feet, and one with just the right food!


*In reflecting back on the trip, some of Red's thoughts were:

"They have pointy things- those are their nectars- they go to their heads. They did this [bobs her head up and down]. They were trying to eat their plants. They sucked their nectar up."


"The caterpillar on the path was even differenter than the caterpillars we saw in the cage."

"The chrysalids was cracking the butterflies out!"

*Red and I had a girls' day with a friend and her three-year-old daughter to the Smithsonian's Museum of Natural History, which has an amazing Insect Zoo area and currently is hosting an exhibit entitled: Farmers, Warriors, Builders: The Hidden Life of Ants. Other than a FANTASTIC time being had with our friends, the insect stuff was a blast as well!

The awesome discovery room for kids had beautiful butterfly specimen.


Look at this one, Mommy!


Checking out the metamorphosis chart.


The tarantula feeding was perfectly timed and we were in the right place!


Red and her pal hanging out, being termites in a mound. Good times.


A HUGE grasshopper that I wanted as a pet.


An even HUGER stick insect that I REALLY wanted as a pet!


Red giving some perspective for the stick insect, "It's bigger than my hand!"


*Some of Red's memories from the museum trip:

"The cricket hopped out of the box and then someone got it!"

"The tarantula ate the cricket, and the cricket looked like a grasshopper."


"I liked seeing the video- a monarch butterfly and a blue jay. The bluejay ate two monarch butterflies and he got sick!"


*Daddy and Red found some neat looking white-haired caterpillars on our back screen door, so we went to the computer and eventually figured out that they were Fall Webworm caterpillars. We caught two in the bug box, and provided a variety of leaves from nearby trees, not really sure which one they came off. Two days later, we only had one caterpillar in there... perhaps a caterpillar is somewhere behind a book on the shelf... But worry not, we soon found a replacement outside.

*Some of Red's observations:

"He has a little black head with a mouth sticking out."

"He has like 18 hairs!"


Red's sketch of the caterpillar.


*We also had the great fortune of spotting a little grasshopper in our yard. We could see and count his six legs, and Red noticed:

"I think this is a mama one."

"He has a green body."

"He is walking now, but he was hopping on the flower and the grass when I caught him."


When he hopped away, "Maybe he didn't want to be catched because he was too afraid of hopping on my finger."

*In searching for more leaves for the webworms, we found what we thought might be the host plant, since we spotted lots of broken egg cases all over the leaves! Red said, "That was so awesome finding those!" We brought one in to look closely with the magnifier, too.

*The kids were playing with some neighborhood friends when they all started freaking out about a BIG and NEW bug they found on the underside of the little tykes slide. I quickly pulled out the laptop and searched on my new favorite bug site, quickly discovering that it was a Dobsonfly! More of Red's thoughts, "It had dots on its wings," and "I think it's dead." Turns out, they're just nocturnal, so we were really bugging it at 11:45 am.

Everyone watching what he'll do after I moved him off the slide.


A blurry close-up of our Dobsonfly buddy.


*We also found a caterpillar molt and a HUGE cocoon on the underside of the kids' playhouse. Pudge couldn't stop saying, "WOW!" over and over while pointing at it. We poked around the molted skin and wondered what would come out of the cocoon.

*Well, I did some reading on my own about webworms, and then shared some info with the kids-- the webworm caterpillars stay in their pupa stage (cocoon) all winter, among the dirt and debris underground. Ugh. Since we wouldn't be able to house these guys for a full year, we decided to let the caterpillars go on the tree where we thought they came from-- we were pretty confident about it being the right tree, because they had been eating the leaves we brought from it like crazy!

JAM: "It's very sad, because I really wanted to see what they came out as!"

Red: "They look different as the tent caterpillars, because the webworm caterpillars have dots-- that's strange."

We sketched them one last time, and then said our goodbyes.

Hungry fella!


Crawling on JAM's sketch!


Letting him go.


Saying goodbye.


*Since we now had an empty bug box, we very, very carefully transferred the huge cocoon we had found the day before, yay!

Seriously, this thing is BIG.


*A few days later, we stumbled upon a much smaller cocoon sitting in the dirt just beyond our lawn. We added it to the bug box, too, but not before doing a little comparing and contrasting with our big cocoon. Red helped me record their sizes, using a "measurer," which you more likely call a ruler. The big cocoon is almost 2 inches long, but the little one is less than an inch!

*Exactly one week later, the huge cocoon was no longer intact in our bug box. We were surprised to see a very large whitish moth sitting on top of the stick! Red noticed, "It has many spots," and "She has antennas!" JAM and I had done some online research and had predicted that the cocoon held a Gypsy Moth based upon the caterpillar molt we had found as well as the leftover hairs on the outside of the cocoon. Guess what? Oh yeah, we rock-- we were totally correct, and to be more specific, our moth was a female and apparently was loaded down with eggs. So much so that according to what we found online, she can't even fly! The info said that after emerging from her cocoon, she emits a bunch of pheromones to attract a mate, does the deal, and dies soon after. Fun, huh? Well, we watched that day as she kept dripping a bunch of stuff out the pointy end of her body, but since gypsy moths aren't really the best insects for the trees, we decided to keep her in the bug box for a few days... I kind of figured if she was going to die soon anyway, why not just let her hang out in our box, right? More sketching abounded, of course.

Pudge just loved this guy, oops, I mean gal.


Our crappy camera can't take a good close-up, but still I try.


*Okay, I lasted three days. I couldn't bear it any longer. I figured that since she hadn't dripped any more stuff in a couple days, that she might be past her point of getting her tree-eating-eggs fertilized, and I couldn't watch her just sit in one place any more. So, we took her out and observed her for a bit before letting her go. She wasn't all that stable, and fluttered her wings but couldn't take flight at all. She could crawl, though, which she did up and down a tree trunk before settling on walking around the dirt.

Pudge's exclamations about where she was crawling and how she was moving: "Flowers! Flowers! Oh, tree, tree! Wiggling! Moth! No rocks! No rocks-- Daddy's rocks!" (Someone he knows gets in trouble for moving the rocks that are part of the landscaping...)

Red's observations: "She just had funny legs and she had white stuff on one of her legs. I could see her antennas and eyes!"

Clinging desperately to her stick.


"Tree! Tree!"


Seeing eye-to-eye.


*Another field trip, this time to the Patuxent Research Refuge, where we intended to take a much longer hike than we ended up doing (thanks to some award-winning histrionics on the part of a certain redhead we had with us), but along the way of our shorter walk we had the pleasure of seeing a really cool metallic green shiny beetle, many butterflies that were white on the underside and purple on the tops of their wings, several daddy longlegs (or harvestmen, if you will), and LOTS and LOTS of dragonflies by the lake.

*YAY!! While watering the flowers one morning, something caught my eye, but I really don't know how since it was so tiny. But, somebody really wanted to make sure that I noticed the very small (a baby??) Praying Mantis hopping on Red's tricycle! My heart was literally beating so hard with excitement-- such an amazing insect, and one that I figured we'd NEVER just happen to see. Wow. Red's first comment: "He has interesting legs." I love her.

More chances to use that magnifier! We had to use an impromptu bug box.


Learning from his big sister, "See it!"


Red's sketch-- I happen to think that her observational drawing skills are really progressing!


*The kids noticed a "funny noise" the other day, and I was thrilled to inform them that they're hearing the beautiful summer song of the Cicadas! We haven't seen any (yet??), but we can certainly hear their crescendoing song all day long. Red: "They sound like this [makes funny grunting noise]. No, they sound like... buzzing!"

*Well, the cocoon we found on the ground finally 'hatched,' but bad news... as Red said, "He didn't make it all the way because he was still in his cocoon." His wing had dried all stiff and one leg was still attached to the cocoon. "We let him go, but he could only walk." I was really hoping we'd be three for three, too. It looked like he could have been a male gypsy moth, but it was hard to tell without his wings being correct.

*While walking to the pool this week, I happened to notice something attached to a light pole- upon further inspection, it was a PERFECTLY intact cicada molt. Amazing. I took it down and showed Red and Pudge-- Red was really interested, but Pudge was instantly kinda grossed out. The expression on his face was priceless, and he leaned back in the stroller seat and just shook his head. We'll keep it around for a bit for observing, but my bet is that it will soon start to disintegrate.

*And finally... a fantastic source just let me know about this article about fireflies, so I think I know what will come next in this bug project!


Exhausted but so very interested in the buggy world all around us,

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

blathering nonsense (about) lyrics

Round two. Last week, I stated for the record my favorites from BNL's first album, so this week brings us to their second released studio recording, Maybe You Should Drive. When I got this CD a few years after it was released, I almost passed out with how perfect it was. It was exactly what I wanted to listen to-- all the time. Literally. Lovely hubby can probably recite the lyrics to the songs on this one in his sleep because of the years and years and years he's had to put up with hearing it playing. This entire album is just so singable. Whether it's Steve's lilting voice extolling the virtues of Jane, or Ed playing around with words and puns on These Apples, or the general frivolity of A (a song that I was thrilled to hear them do live one fantastic time, but has no youtube entry), there's a fair share of fun to be had on this one, but for the most part, I find this to be one of their 'heavier' releases. From You Will Be Waiting to Am I the Only One? to The Great Provider, the emotions abound here.

Can you tell that this album is presenting quite a challenge for me?? This is probably my most played CD of all the BNL ones, partly because it's one of the oldest, but also because I just find that there's a particular mood that I get in when this CD is the perfect accompaniment to my post-dinner kitchen cleanfest. But, there has to be one highlighted song here, so I'm going for one that I find charming in its brutal honesty, upbeat sounding all the while potentially heartbreaking to its subject, and gets bonus points for using an SAT word as the title.

Album: Maybe You Should Drive
Year of Release: 1994
Song: Intermittently
Words & Music by Steven Page



Someone somewhere has unglued our epoxy
And now I'm kissing you by proxy
Hope you don't mind
Somewhere someone is dreaming of me
Tries to love me, hope you don't mind

I love you
intermittently
I love you intermittently

She's a lot like you but she don't look like you
Okay, she's not you
But she'll do fine
I put my life on hold to avoid confrontation
But should I tell you to your face and
Risk my hide?

I love you
intermittently
I love you intermittently

When immeasurably
Turns to intermittently
There's no use in going on
Except for fear of being wrong
Every morning I just hit the ground yawning...
Stick around if you enjoy disaster
'Cause if you can't see what I'm after
You must be blind

I love you
intermittently
I love you intermittently

Didn't have the heart to say goodbye
So I continued in my charlatan ways
Did I say heart?
I meant to say guts
Now I'm on my own and I'm sorry that you're gone


The last part is my favorite-- the sliminess of the character singing these words just plays up through the whole song, until he's all alone, yet he really doesn't sound all the remorseful. Drawing a line from immeasurably to intermittently is so regretful, yet it's stated plainly and matter-of-factly. The other lines that always make me crack up are the: she's a lot like you but she don't look like you, okay she's not you, but she'll do fine. Oh dear. That pretty much sets the stage-- you know this relationship is OVER. I don't really know what appeals to me so much about this song-- the sound is definitely fun and I love how the instruments take turns fueling the tone, but I really think it's just Steve's voice (once again!) that draws me in. I L-O-V-E love it.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

free-range tweeting

Free-Range Kids has become more than just another book on my shelf (or another book loaned out to friends, as the case may be). It has really affected our family, most specifically the experiences of our soon-to-be nine year old, lovingly referred to as JAM around here. First it began with letting him go to one of our neighborhood playgrounds by himself-- he wore his watch, I sharpied the time he needed to leave on the back of his hand, and lo and behold, he came back in one piece. That became a bit of a habit throughout the first few weeks of summer break, although he usually didn't stick around there for long if there weren't any other kids playing. He met some kids he didn't know before, and he had more opportunities to practice those oh-so-important social skills that don't always come so easily to kids with ADHD.

And then we took a giant leap as it were and let him start taking the Metrobus to the part of our town where he's attending camp during the day. As of today, he's ridden to camp independently 6 times (after the first day of us going with him to drop off papers and refamiliarize him with the route), and even once to get home after a friend signed him out early when he wasn't feeling so well. He's a champ-- my child who has always been more than a bit anxious, worrying about the 'what-ifs' of the world (I have NO idea where he got that from...), gets on the bus each morning as nonchalantly as if he's been a commuter his whole life. Touches the card to the sensor and plops down in a seat in the blink of an eye. No big deal.

I asked him to describe how the whole bus-riding experience has made him feel, and here's what he had to say:

"I'm feeling very grown-up riding the bus, and it's really fun. What makes me feel grown up is that I know where to pull the cord, and it's really easy to me. Every day so far from the second day to today, I've had the same driver, so he knows when to stop for me even before I pull the cord. I feel happy doing this, and it's hard, easy and fun at the same time. What's hard is that I have to pay attention to know when to pull the cord. What's easy about it is that I get on, use my Smartrip card, sit down and a few stops later a camp counselor gets on the bus. What's fun about it is that I get to be by myself. I would describe the time that I have to wait before camp starts as quiet time and relaxing and I get to read and of course, I get to sign more time off on my summer reading challenge. I'm feeling more grown-up and responsible."

Can't beat that, huh? I've been reflecting on this so much lately, and I really feel so proud of him for taking this step. I know that he's safe, and I know that if he stopped paying attention and missed his stop that the next stop is just down the road. I feel confident that even if he got into a situation where he felt a bit flustered, there are adults around that could offer assistance. We have learned that a regular routine with a sequence of things to do always helps him, since attention to detail doesn't come naturally. So, we sat down together and wrote out a sequential list of the things he needed to do after he got on the bus-- when to pull the cord to signal he wanted to get off, to make a call to me saying that he arrived at the community center, to turn the phone off and stash it in his backpack, and to choose a place to hang out with his book until it was time to sign himself in to camp. I wrote those agreed upon steps on a sticky note and put it in his bag where he would keep his bus card. After he looked at it on the first morning, I don't think he pulled it out of his bag again on any of the other days. It's simply become another routine, which he lives and breathes by, so he's comfortable and confident.

And I'm a proud mama.

Now, if any of you out there reading this are interested in learning more about the Free-Range Kids approach that is outlined in this book, please join me (@mteblogmama) and 5 Minutes for Books (@5M4B) on Twitter on Wednesday evening at 10 pm (Eastern time). To join in the conversation, just include the hashtag #freerangekids in your message and you can use an application like tweetchat to follow along. Oh, and it's important to mention that it won't just be me on there tweeting away about what I think of all this, the author, Lenore Skenazy will be joining us. So here's your opportunity to tweet (or twitterverse? twitterchat?) with a real live author who has graced just about every talk show and news program there is to describe her "revolutionary" ideas-- ideas that I personally think are a breath of fresh air in an over-protective society of fearful parents.

So, you, me, 5M4B, Lenore Skenazy, and Twitter-- Wednesday, 7/15, 10 pm Eastern, hashtag #freerangekids. What more could a book-loving mama need?


Clearly excited for tomorrow,

making way for memories

It's time to talk children's books again, for today at 5 Minutes for Books is our monthly carnival called Children's Classics. This month, we're exploring the idea of "Book Trips." You know, those places that you've visited that can connect back to a beloved children's book. Maybe it's as simple as a stroll through the pet store to look at the kitties after reading that crazy classic Millions of Cats by Wanda Ga'g, or perhaps you can be the object of my insane jealousy since you've taken your kids to the Eric Carle Museum of Picture Book Art (where Mo Willems, my I'd-stalk-him-if-I-lived-nearby favorite author) is known to make frequent appearances.

For me, I remember back to the summer of 2002 when we were parents of a newly-turned-two only child, and we had traveled up to Connecticut to visit my parents. Lovely hubby, JAM and I went up to Boston for a day while my folks were working, with no specific itinerary but just a general idea of some places we wanted to walk around. I believe it was while we were on our way toward the Cheers bar to take a classic touristy photo that we found ourselves walking through Boston's Public Garden. Lo and behold, suddenly we discovered the beautiful bronze statues of Robert McCloskey's Make Way for Ducklings family! Of course, this was a familiar book to us-- it's as classic as you can get! We waddled among the ducklings for a bit, and posed for a picture in a way that I'm sure no one has ever done before.

A 2-year-old JAM and a contacts-less me in 2002 with Mama and her babies.

This darling book will always have a special place in my heart simply for this unplanned visit to a previously-unknown-to-us special feature in Boston. Someday we'll visit with Ramona and her pals in Portland, Oregon, even if it means taking my kids and grandkids, and we'll get up to Eric Carle's place of fun someday, too. But, at least JAM, hubby and I will always have our ducklings memory!



Quacking with happiness,

Sunday, July 12, 2009

this week's guffaws

Ready for some laughs? I got a fantastically funny email the other day from Samsmama, who is quickly giving some of my other friends a run for their money on the guffaws-fodder-email-sending. C'mon people, ya'll gotta step up your games! Okay, no pressure, but as always, if you just happen to have an email pop up in your inbox, send it my way and you may just see it again on here!

Okay, pitiful begging done with for now, let's get to the funnies. Remember, as with all email forwards, you have to suspend your disbelief and not waste your time questioning if any of this is real or not, or even notice that the list refers to the current year and the last joke talks about something last summer... who cares, the intent here is purely laughter!

TOP 8 MORONS OF 2009

1. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS.
Police in Oakland , CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'

3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, where the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka , Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot,' the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart." "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto , CA , Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, as he was laughing so hard.

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!


There you have it, a milder-type of a Darwin Awards list-- at least no one was dead at the end of any of these little ditties!

With lots of laughs,

Thursday, July 09, 2009

an attitude of gratitude is in order

It's gotta just be human nature to recognize the recurring themes of one's own inner thoughts, right? I often wonder if other people think about their feelings as much as I do... perhaps I'm simply too obsessive? Eh, who am I kidding? Of course I'm obsessive in my thinking habits, and it's just a matter of fact that my emotions are a huge factor in my life. I've really gotta get those things tamed one of these days. Anyway, I do have a point here, even if it feels like this post is circling the drain right about now.

Today a couple of things that have been on my mind all converged in one moment's thought-- literally like that cartoon light bulb went off and it all seemed clear for one bright second or two. Then it got a little dull again, so I'm hoping that if I write through it and have a record of these thoughts, then it will at least stay semi-bright in my mind. Okay, so a while back I read and reviewed a book about searching for the happiest places in the world-- The Geography of Bliss by Eric Weiner. I had been wanting to read it for a while, again mostly because I'm often thinking about the way I experience my own happiness. I found it interesting and surprising in some ways, but mostly somewhat logical, with some applications in my own life about embracing happiness for myself. That's point one, and the next logical point would be my admission-filled post of a few months ago about my ever-increasing anger troubles. I've been really trying hard to be a better mom and wife, and it's no dirty little secret that I've returned to seeking the benefits of an SSRI medication (that's a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, for those of you not as well versed in mental health pharmaceuticals). Things are still iffy around the last week of the month, if you get my drift, but I'm trying. So that was point two.

Point three comes in with a book that I'm reading now, I Just Want My Kids to Be Happy! by Aaron Cooper and Eric Keitel. I'm not finished, and I am reading this to review on 5M4B, but the basic premise is that in parents' appropriate desire for the children to experience a happy life, their efforts are often debilitating and counterproductive to that end. It's making a lot of sense to me, and I look forward to pulling my thoughts all together for the review, but I got only a few sentences in to my latest chapter today when that light bulb went off. Here's what I was reading, in a chapter entitled Impart Gratitude:


Gratitude research has yielded some astonishing results. Studies have found that when people regularly recorded in a personal journal the things they felt grateful for, not only were they happier, but they took better care of their health.

Pretty darn obvious, right?? But, I'll be the first to admit that it's a heckuva lot easier for me to dwell on the frustrations of life-- big and small, central to my own family and in reference to society or the world at large-- than it is to also be grateful for all that my life has to offer. It's easier to get frustrated at messes in my house than to be thankful that I have a house, and that it's warm in the winter and keeps me safe and secure. My intention isn't to get all Thanksgivingish right now, and I honestly feel a little daft in admitting that these simple thoughts had such an impact on me. But wait, there's one more point in this story.

Just the other day, I read on a friend's blog about a tattoo that she had gotten-- a word that had great meaning for her, embrace. She linked back to a post that she had written about the significance of that word for her, and I truly loved the idea. I always fear that I'm such a copier, so I didn't immediately start following in her footsteps, but I did start throwing words around in my head that I thought would make my own top 5 list. I wasn't very sold on any particular word, and I was soon distracted by yet another poopy diaper (not on me, of course) or screaming child, so that train of thought soon left the station. BUT... it made a return appearance when my light bulb went off today.

Gratitude.

That has to be my word. A big part of my journey through the valley of overwhelming emotions has to include a focus on gratitude. It undoubtedly will have a positive affect on my ability to experience and recognize happiness, and it will surely influence my children's emotional development as well. So this is it-- I need to make it a point to be conscious of the elements of my life that I am grateful for.

  • I am grateful for my lovely husband who never ceases to feel love for me, even when I struggle to find loveable things about myself.
  • I am grateful for my children's strong-willedness... sounds strange, right? As difficult as it can be to work through now, my gut tells me that it will serve them well later in life.
  • I am grateful for my mobility. Having an intense fear of driving doesn't make for the most convenient of situations, but I'm thankful that we live in a place where I can access much of what is needed just by using my own two feet and a stroller, as well as for my ability to do so, even if it is slow going uphill in the heat.
  • I am grateful for Skype, which enables my parents to see their grandchildren when their inconsiderate daughter had the audacity to make a home hours and hours away.
  • I am grateful for said parents and the strengths that they imparted to me, along with a neverending supply of love and support.
  • I am grateful for the luxury of being able to spend time sorting through my thoughts on my beloved silly little blog.
That is in no way a complete list, but some of the things that popped into my head in the moment. It may seem trite or a bit too Pollyannaish at times, but I'm making it a personal goal to focus more regularly on gratitude.


Feeling grateful if anyone got all the way down to this point,

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

blathering nonsense (about) lyrics

Back when I had this brilliant idea to document my love for all things BNL, it was way back in the day of a 5-member group, with my uncontested favorite, Steven Page belting out half the lead vocals... these days with him gone, I worry that their next production won't bring about the same joy as before. So, in that vein, it's time to do some reminiscing. While my previous blathering posts have kinda been randomly chosen, a song here, a different album selection there, I'm striking a new path. Starting at the beginning, I'm going to go album by album and highlight my favorites. Yeah, lame-o, I know, but seriously, my expectation is that no one other than myself would ever really read or look back on these posts with even a slight sense of interest.

Let's climb into the time machine and head back 17 long years to present:

Album: Gordon
Year of Release: 1992

I love that this CD is an eclectic mix of super-silly and hauntingly heavy songs-- from goofy high school reminiscing in Grade 9 and the introduction of their signature song If I had a $1,000,000 to the darkness of Wrap Your Arms Around Me and The Flag. The whole thing is an overall good foundation for the various directions their future songs would take, in my humble opinion.

One song rises above all the rest for me (which is good, because it's kinda the point of these posts!), and it's the song that I can be found singing aloud to myself when I have a quiet moment-- showering, hanging laundry, washing dishes. It's definitely on my top 5 list of their songs:




What a Good Boy
Words by Steven Page
Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson

When I was born, they looked at me and said
what a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.
And when you were born, they looked at you and said,
what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl.

We've got these chains that hang around our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same,
when temptation calls, we just look away.

[Chorus]
This name is the hairshirt I wear,
and this hairshirt is woven from your brown hair.
This song is the cross that I bear,
bear it with me, bear with me, bear with me,
be with me tonight,
I know that it isn't right, but be with me tonight.

I go to school, I write exams,
if I pass, if I fail, if I drop out,
does anyone give a damn?
And if they do, they'll soon forget 'cause it won't take much for me
to show my life ain't over yet.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange.
I wake up wondering if anything in my life is ever going to change.
I wake up scared, I wake up strange
and everything around me stays the same.

[Chorus]

I couldn't tell you that I was wrong,
chickened out, grabbed a pen and paper, sat down and I wrote this song.
I couldn't tell you that you were right,
so instead I looked in the mirror,
watched TV, laid awake all night.

We've got these chains, hang 'round our necks,
people want to strangle us with them before we take our first breath.
Afraid of change, afraid of staying the same when temptation calls ...

[Chorus]

When I was born, they looked at me and said;
What a good boy, what a smart boy, what a strong boy.
And when you were born, they looked at you and said;
what a good girl, what a smart girl, what a pretty girl, hey


Okay, I could quite possibly be alone in this, but that performance made me cry-- for the significance that it was one of Steven's last shows singing this dear song, for the intensity of his voice (which never sounds ANY DIFFERENT live than it does on the studio recordings), for the emotions that get evoked every single time I hear this song. Call me a super dork, but that song really touches me.

There you have it, my take on album #1. I hope that someday I'll be 75 years old, listening to my old BNL recordings on whatever music-playing-technology there is in 2050, with little old-lady-tears falling out my eyes when this song comes on.


Dorkishly as always,